Fat Girls Dance by Cathleen Meredith

Author:Cathleen Meredith [Meredith, Cathleen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kensington Books
Published: 2024-06-21T00:00:00+00:00

The Goddess Unmasked is a photo and experience-based project that explores the idea of self-love and self-compassion. There is a fundamental, unnatural, and limiting disconnection between women and our bodies. We don’t look at ourselves. We don’t celebrate ourselves. We don’t forgive ourselves.

The most caustic, unhealthy, and abusive relationship in our lives is with ourselves. These narratives are both defining us and killing us.

“It’s even worse for girls like us,” Liv had said, looking over my shoulder. I knew what she meant. Black girls. Fat girls. We were getting a lot of love on social media, but we were also getting comments like:

No one wants to see all that.

You’re doing too much.

Spandex is a privilege.

Maybe lose a little weight before wearing that.

I both hated that shit and had to admit I’d said and thought those very things about fat people. Fuck, I had a hard time even looking in the mirror. The “why” behind the project I could totally cosign. It was the “what” I had doubts about. On the site were images of naked women. The lighting was strategic, but, nevertheless, they were naked.

I looked at Liv. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

She shrugged. “You said you wanted to do something that scared you—”

“Forget it.” I closed the laptop.

“It’s free,” she countered. “Only women will be there, and the testimonials say it’s completely transformative.”

“I said forget it.”

“Reese!”

“Liv!”

“Look.” She reopened the laptop. “No Black people. No fat people. We have to do it. For the culture.”

I rolled my eyes.

“And I’ll go with you.”

“You can go by yourself,” I offered.

“Can’t. Kind of already signed us up.”

My jaw dropped. That led to a thirty-minute fight, which resolved nothing. In Liv’s brain it was a done deal. I was going. I was terrified she was right, but I also had very little capacity within myself to say no to Liv. She reinforced her point two days later at FGD rehearsal. When the girls asked what we were doing for New Year’s, Liv flatly announced: “Reese and I are getting naked pics done. You all should come! It’s free!”

Shocked gasps and excited squeals erupted from the group. They started asking a million questions, and I could feel the heat rising from my neck. Liv looked pleased with herself. I wanted to chuck an ax at her face. Avery, Paige, and Faith pulled up the site on their phones and signed up on the spot. And that was that. The squad was doing it, so now I was definitely doing it.

* * *

That was how we found ourselves here, naked under our robes, sitting calmly on the bench, no one saying anything.

A few moments later, a beautiful forty-something woman with a great head of hair walked out of the studio. “Hey, ladies! I’m Dr. Stacy Berman. You can call me Stacy. First off, who wants mimosas?”

She was met with a chorus of “absolutely” and “fuck yes.” She served us herself and we sipped indulgently.

She looked at her clipboard. “Okay, who is Reese?”

My heart dropped. I raised a shaky hand.

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